Things past
I have been hit with a landslide of emotions these last few days, about Mike, about regrets, about decisions made - some positive, some not lived out. I got engaged only six months after my friend took his own life. I found the wedding planning to be a bit of an escape for me, acutally, now I see that it was a near total escape, from feeling any more. Not a day has gone by that he hasn't been in my thoughts, but with wedding planning there are so many other things taking up parts of my mind that nothing was given full control over my thoughts. But I had stupidly thought, up until a couple of weeks ago, that the wedding had been a blessing to occupy me and help me to cope a little bit better with things. I didn't cry so much, I wasn't overwhelmed with memories of him so much and I could get through. I thought that this was how things would be. But I was wrong. All that it allowed me to do was to put him aside. To put my feelings aside, my rollarcoaster of emotions aside,...