Finding Peace

As I sit here, hair unwashed for the third day, toys scattered around the living room, spitcloths, sheets and onesies waiting to be washed - listening to my daughter "learn" how to put herself to sleep and wondering where my good napper and sleeper has gone, I have never been more aware of what a job being a mom is. What a wonderful job, but what a hard job! And yes, that's right, I do have the ability to LISTEN to my daughter LEARN, sometimes it's a fantastic sound, other times, not so much. As much as you can appreciate how fantastic your own mother is, and some of your friends Moms, and your Aunties and Gramma's - I don't think you really actually know how amazing they are until you have a child of your own. How my own mother managed to stay sane raising four kids, to get educated, to be active, AND to be a wonderful Mom, I will never know, but if I can manage even a portion of that, I will be over the moon about it! You single Mom's out there, I ha...

Baby girl, I think that in every post I have said that this has been the best month yet - and I am not about to mess with things. Ava, this has been our most fun month with you yet. I can not imagine having a more sassy, more fun, more spunky little girl than you. You have us laughing all day long with your antics, and your zest. You don't do anything in a chill kind of way, you do it all with a sassy smile, a funny look, or the perfectly created "scream." You are starting to find your Mommy and Daddy to be quite funny, and we are having to work far less hard to make you laugh or smile. You are also so much more willing to smile or giggle for the rest of our family, and even for strangers. You think it is hilarious when your Daddy claps his hands together, you laugh every time. You love it when I rub my hands together, lathering up your shampoo when you are in the tub. And when your Mommy rocks you back and forth, saying "tick tock, tick tock," even if yo...

My friend, I am so proud of your Mom, of "our" Mama. I know that you were watching, and I know that you were with her when she caught herself missing you. I know it because even though she did it because you aren't here, the only way she could have done it was because you were RIGHT there. My wonderful baby has started sleeping through the night, and my wonderful husband offered to spend the night alone with her so that I could come out and support/cheer on/ learn from your Mom. She did so well and she has come so, so far. I know that there were likely moments when you were cursing her, for spilling your secrets, but I also know that you would think that going through what you did was an experience that no one else should have to live through. You had such a good heart Mike. Such a good heart, such a sense of humour, and so very much to give. I am feeling a little raw about you tonight. I miss you so much- I miss how easily you made me laugh- often laughing and cringing ...