Finding Peace

It has now been 5 weeks since I hurt my back, with a bulging disc, SI joint dysfunction, and searing sciatica in my lower body. I have a 4 month old, and I am trying HARD to get better, to stay positive and be the best I can be for my kids. It's not easy, and I feel like I am failing. Every. Single. Day. Every day. Not every moment of every day, but at the end of every day, I have tried my best to be there for my kids, to not let my son watch too many episodes of Paw Patrol, to keep his soother out of his mouth, not to rely on my parents to help us too much, to snuggle my sweet baby as many moments as I can before the pain gets to bad, and to save some positivity and love for my Ava when she gets home from school.  I did not realize, until this injury, just how much I need the outdoors. We did not camp this summer, with a new baby, and being at Black Mountain for every free weekend we had. We did not get up to the cabin this summer, because I was newly on mat leave, and t...

This is a bit of a difficult post for me, at Thanksgiving this year. Over a month ago I found myself unable to walk, with a bulging disc, now healed, but replaced by Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction that is leaving my hips, bum, hamstrings and calves with pins and needles, numbness and searing pain most of the day, every day. Days before it happened, I began a post on here about how dang grateful I was for everything and everyone in my life, after a great trip away at Black Mountain for the long weekend. That weekend I was starting to have some back pain (that bulge must have been starting to show itself) and was supported completely by my parents and sister and brother in law, as Brady was away and I had the three kids "on my own." For the first two weeks, I was unable to do ANYTHING. I was mostly in bed or on the couch, unable to get up without much trial and error, finding myself stuck on the floor, or taking 15 minutes to go to the bathroom and change my clothes. Manageabl...