Finding Peace

Sweet girl, you are 8 months old and your Daddy and I fall more in love with you every day. You are our dream come true, and we are so, so proud that you are ours and we get to keep you! Ava Irene, you are becoming more of your own person every day. You have such a spunky and fun personality and you are always ready with a smile or a scream when someone looks your way. It may be the lady at the crosswalk or at the Insurance place, the little boy in music class, or your Uncle Derran's friends at a baseball tournament. It may be a little girl or boy, a friend of your Gramma and Grampa's, one of your parents, or a stranger that you have never met before.  People comment to us nearly every day about how happy you are, how smiley you are, and yes, how noisy you are! You are not afraid to voice your opinion and we hope that you will stay that way. Darling girl, the beginning of June was big for us. You popped your first top tooth on June 8th (7 months old), and your next tooth...

I started this blog as a way to write and to pour out all my feelings and thoughts surrounding the loss of my very good friend. Since I had Ava, it seems as though it has turned more into a blog to remember all of the special and important moments of her life, which is fine and also so important to me, but it isn't how I "planned" on using this blog. I guess that is the way that life is, isn't it? It never goes like you plan for it to. A friend of mine's little girl was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of brain cancer when she was only 10 months old. She is now 2 and a half years old and is nearing the end of her battle, and so tragically, the end of her life. I find myself spending moment after moment thinking about her, and about Chelsey and Andrew, and then my mind automatically connects back to Ava, to my baby. In sending Andrew a message on facebook to organize a fundraiser a few weeks ago, I was connected back to an old message that I had sent to And...

Baby girl, at every month's "birthday" I start a new month worth of notes so that I don't forget any moment of your life, and I have to say that it honestly feels like I JUST started your sixth month notes, and now we are at seven! How did it go so fast?! Your Mommy and Daddy are feeling like time is moving a little too fast, and I just want it to slow down. This month we started to think about daycare, for when your Mom goes back to work in October, and I hate it. I hate that I won't get to be with you every day, all day long. I hate the fact that I will miss a single moment, that I will miss a single smile, and laugh, and yes, even cry. I hate it that you might do something brand new, that you have never done before, and that I may not be the first one to see it. That being said, your Mommy is lucky enough that when she does go back to work, she only has to go back 4 days a week, and we will get to spend Friday's together. I will enjoy every moment that we...

As I sit here, hair unwashed for the third day, toys scattered around the living room, spitcloths, sheets and onesies waiting to be washed - listening to my daughter "learn" how to put herself to sleep and wondering where my good napper and sleeper has gone, I have never been more aware of what a job being a mom is. What a wonderful job, but what a hard job! And yes, that's right, I do have the ability to LISTEN to my daughter LEARN, sometimes it's a fantastic sound, other times, not so much. As much as you can appreciate how fantastic your own mother is, and some of your friends Moms, and your Aunties and Gramma's - I don't think you really actually know how amazing they are until you have a child of your own. How my own mother managed to stay sane raising four kids, to get educated, to be active, AND to be a wonderful Mom, I will never know, but if I can manage even a portion of that, I will be over the moon about it! You single Mom's out there, I ha...

Baby girl, I think that in every post I have said that this has been the best month yet - and I am not about to mess with things. Ava, this has been our most fun month with you yet. I can not imagine having a more sassy, more fun, more spunky little girl than you. You have us laughing all day long with your antics, and your zest. You don't do anything in a chill kind of way, you do it all with a sassy smile, a funny look, or the perfectly created "scream." You are starting to find your Mommy and Daddy to be quite funny, and we are having to work far less hard to make you laugh or smile. You are also so much more willing to smile or giggle for the rest of our family, and even for strangers. You think it is hilarious when your Daddy claps his hands together, you laugh every time. You love it when I rub my hands together, lathering up your shampoo when you are in the tub. And when your Mommy rocks you back and forth, saying "tick tock, tick tock," even if yo...