Finding Peace

Sweet darling, we have had a busy end of October and beginning of November. You wait so patiently for your birthday to come, always ready to celebrate the next person in the family, until it is your turn. Our Austy had his third birthday 3 weeks before you, and you could hardly contain your excitement that it would be Halloween next and then YOUR birthday! For Halloween this year, and for your birthday, the theme was Paw Patrol. It is pretty much the centre of your world right now. You love the show, you love the theme song, you love all of the characters, and your Daddy and I even wondered for a little while if you might be developing your first crush, on Marshall. The fire Dalmatian.  And if there was any doubt, it was erased when you began telling people that your baby brother was going to be named Marshall. Your Mommy could not find a Marshall costume anywhere, so took to the sewing machine and whipped one up the best she could. And I have to say that I am still qu...

Sweet bean, you are such a character these days! As you get closer and closer to being three years old, your character develops more and more, and your attitude. You are the funniest little peanut we know, Ava. You are very honest these days, and you don't forget a thing you hear, or understand that perhaps EVERYTHING you hear should not be repeated. When you came home from Nana and Papa's house telling us to "beep beep" when we were in your way, Mommy told you that it's ok to say that at Nana's house, but that we don't say that at our house...and of course you told Nana that.  When Mommy got into Gramma's car, that we were borrowing, I smelled something funny and said, "hmm, I think it smells like shoes in here." The next time you saw Gramma, you asked her, "Gramma, why does your car smell like shoes?" And when your cousin Austen ran a little too fast to the edge of the sidewalk and then didn't want to hold his Mommy'...

My sweet bean, as you lay sleeping in your bed right now, soother IN, I think that when you wake up, you are sure to hate your mommy. Please don't hate me when you wake up. We are trying to "detach" you from your soother for naps and nighttimes, and your Mommy is not sure she has the heart for it. Your mommy thinks that she has done a pretty decent job of getting through the hard things (with Daddy's help, of course), but to be honest, we have not had a "transition" with you since December (8 months!!), when you learned to use the potty. And honestly, that wasn't much of a transition, as you just decided during Christmas at Manning that you were going to start using the potty, and BAM, you were daytime potty-trained. You are SO good at spitting your soother out before you leave your bedroom in the morning, and then only using it for nap time and nighttime. In fact, you saw two little ones at the store today, both sucking on soothers, and you said, out ...

Our sweet boy, you have been living in your cozy little den for nearly 6 months now, and I think it is time we tell you a little about this big, crazy world you are getting set to enter. Although, I have a hunch you have heard and felt all the madness and fun that is our life as a family of three, and I think you're ready to add your flare. At my midwife appointment today, Daina asked me if I can feel you moving. My answer? Yes! All. Of. The. Time. Then she asked what time of day I felt you the most, and I told her every time of day. I feel you groovin’ when I wake up in the morning, I feel you when I sit down to read my kindergarten class a book in the morning. I feel you when I'm cranking up my own dance party on the drive home from work on Thursday's, and I even feel you when I wake up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. When I write these letters to your sister, I call her so many things, and I'm not sure what to call you! Sweet boy ju...

As I sat in the hospital this morning, waiting to get yet another test done, I saw two things that brought me close to tears. What an amazing thing life is. That may seem like such an obvious statement, but I don't think I really realized until I became pregnant with Ava, and now it is all too clear as we try, and try, and try, to give our sweet girl a brother or sister. As I took my seat in the waiting room this morning, sitting across from me was a very young girl and her very young boyfriend who were very, very pregnant. As I watched her take deep breath after deep breath, and watched him checking his phone, now clearly timing contractions, my first internal response was jealousy. I could only assume that they had not planned this pregnancy and that they could not possibly be prepared to raise a child. Jealousy. What an ugly thing. I have a PERFECT little girl who has brought us only joy, and when I saw another life close to being brought into this world, my first feeling was ...

My sweet darling girl, as I laid you down to sleep tonight, I have never been more in love with you. As I laid you down last week, I waited for you to tell "Maaaaammy!" And then I waited for you to yell, " I have to go to the bathroom!" and then I waited for you to yell, "I need another bottle!" And in those times, my darling, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and then remembered that you would not do this for very many years, so calm down Mama and go give your daughter ANOTHER snuggle! This kind of love, I just never knew it. This week your Daddy has thought that everything you do is just the most amazing thing that has ever been done. And believe me, your Daddy has always been amazed by you, but there is something about you right now that your Daddy, who is 2 at heart, is just connecting with, and he is falling so in love with you Ava. Sweet girl,  you are just that. You are the SWEETEST child that I have ever met. When Mommy hurts herself, or whe...

Our sweet, sweet girl, what an amazing age 2 is! And I might note that when I just typed the word "amazing," it autocorrected to "amazon," and that is an appropriate word for 2 as well! Your Daddy and I looked at our watches, and looked at each other with raised eyebrows at dinner two nights ago, because we were both exhausted, we were both in awe of your meltdown, and we were both ready for bed! It was definitely a wrap up dinner early, get you in the bath, and get you in bed EARLY kind of night. But we are lucky, in that those nights are so few and far between with you. Why is 2 amazing? * Because you are learning, and learning, and learning. Mostly great things, some not wonderful things! You are learning how to be a "big girl," and that is such hard work for a tiny thing. You are learning that it is ok for you to not want to do something, but that it is hard to figure out what words you can and cannot use when you don't want to do somethin...

 Sweet girl, everything is more magical around the holidays now that you are 2. You are such a thinker, and you absorb everything that we tell you, with such careful thought. We love who you are becoming, and even though some days are more challenging than others, you make every day pretty darn perfect for all of us! Ava, you are so patient, and so good at sharing. You don't like it when kids take things from you, but you are very patient as your friends learn how to wait their turn, and usually, you just want the toy back because that is the way it is supposed to be, and then you quickly return it to your friend because it is their turn. If your friends are upset because you are playing with a toy that they want, you feel sad for them, and you usually give up your toy to them and happily find something else to play with. Your mommy is learning how to deal with people not being kind to you, right alongside you. It is hard for me to watch someone exclude you, or hit you, a...