Life After Tragedy

This is my first entry on a blog. I don't know if anyone will see this, and right now, I don't know if I want anyone to see it. Although, I do like that there is a chance that someone going through just the same thing I am will see this, and maybe it will help?
I have always been a writer. I loved writing in elementary school, and used to tell stories to friends at sleepovers. Through high school and college, I am not sure how I would have survived without writing. In February, one of my closest friends decided to end his life. I spent months not being able to write, not being able to journal. Feeling everything intensely, while feeling nothing at the same time. Having so much to say, but not wanting to say any of it because of the chance that this tragedy would become reality once I began writing about it. Then things began to pour out. I had changed the way that I journalled about a year and a half ago. I used to write about day to day things. About "huge" events in my life, that upon looking back on now were quite trivial. But, that was what I needed to write about back then.

I went away to Korea, despite my friend asking me to please not go. I went, and my life changed. I began to question who I was, what I stood for, what I believed in, where I wanted to go, what I meant to people in my life, and what people in my life meant to me. After many desperate conversations with my friend, and many clarifying events, I decided to come home, because of those that meant the world to me.
I am so glad that I did, because less than a year after my return, my friend decided to leave this world, and to leave me.
I will post some of my writing about the events following this life-changing tragedy.