In Love...

My darling girl, I fall more in love with you every second. It sounds hard to believe, but it could not be more true. Absolutely, without a doubt, like no other love. I remember in high school, and the first years of college having the conversation with girlfriends about how to know if you love someone, or if you are IN love with someone. Who knows what conclusion we ever came to, but I am quite certain it would have been something like, "you just KNOW when you're IN love," and boy oh boy Miss Ava, I sure do just KNOW. You are so much more than I could have ever dreamed of.

 

In your sassy moments I can see little glimpses of your young Mom and what I imagine would have been your young Daddy. I don't think that you will be a troublemaker, but I think that you might just live on the edge and push the limits. I think that that is your Daddy, the way he has lived his whole life, and your Mommy, the way she has lived since she met your Daddy. When you smile Ava, it is with your whole body, and you do it only when you mean it. You do not smile for us just to pacify us, and I am quite sure that will never be your way. I am quite sure, even at this young age, that you are going to tell us, and show us, exactly what you mean, and as challenging and rewarding as that is going to be for us, I am proud of it. Miss Ava I think that you will love hard and love good.

 

 



My sweet girl, you are going through a phase right now where you are whiny for your Mommy. There have been many times in your short life where you have been a Daddy's girl, where he could make you laugh, and stop your tears when your Mommy could not. I am not happy that you are whiny at all, and I am not happy that you reach for your Mommy when you are with your Daddy, because I know how it feels to be on the other end. But Miss Ava, I am learning that there will be times in your life when Daddy will be your hero, but there will also be times when your Mommy will be your hero. I know that through my own life there have been times when I pick up the phone to talk to Mom and only Mom, but there have also been times when I just want to talk to my Dad - and I am understanding that you will probably be the same, and that I can not take it personally.

 

 

Sweet girl, your Mommy was terrified of thunder and lightning when she was younger. I remember a time when we were in Alberta, visiting my Auntie Barb, Uncle Randy, and cousin Jon. I was sleeping on a cot upstairs when the storm began, and I remember being terrified. I spent many nights in your Gramma and Grampa's bed because it was the only place that I felt safe.

 

We went camping at Monck Park in Merritt a couple of weeks ago and on our first night, we experienced the WORST thunder, lightning, wind, and hail storm that I can recall. To make matters (I won't say worse) more interesting, we were tent camping, in a tent that we had borrowed. It was time for your nap, and your Daddy had gone into town, and I was a little bit worried that you would be scared and that you would not be able to settle.

I had to put you down to deal with the rivers streaming into our tent, and I apologized to you for having to put you down, because I assumed you were scared. But you just sat there, and watched me, wide eyed and quietly until I was finished. I scooped you back up, because I know that as a child that was what I would have wanted.

 My darling girl, I gave you your bottle and you fell asleep beside me, tucked in my arm. There was one loud crack of thunder and you popped your eyes wide open. No tears and no cries. I popped your soother in, rolled you onto my chest and tucked you into my sleeping back. You went right back to sleep and slept for an hour, in the midst of some of the loudest thunder I have experienced, in a tent!

 

Baby girl, your Mommy is learning that you are your own person. I treated you exactly as I know I would have wanted to be treated as a child, because I was so scared of thunder and lightning. But you couldn't have cared less. It was a new sound and a new experience for you, but maybe you are too young to place a feeling like "scary" onto a new experience, just because it is new. I was so proud of you. I was proud that you responded like your own person, and not like your Mommy, and I know that this is just the beginning. To top it off Ava, the thunder storm continued nearly the WHOLE night, and you slept more soundly than you even sleep in your crib! You are amazing, and I love you.

 

Ava Irene, your Mommy is dreading going back to work, and we only have a little over two months until that time comes. But I am learning to not think about how much (or little) time we have but rather, to think of all of the fun things that we are going to do on our Mommy and Ava Fridays, when Mommy doesn't have to go to work. I am selfishly excited about the time, and the experiences that will be just ours. I am excited to paint, and craft, and to do kind things for other people, just because. I am excited for the rainy days, when we will get dressed in our rain coats and boots and go jump in the puddles. I am excited for the snow (cross your fingers baby, we will get some!) and to build big, silly snowmen outside. I am excited for the mud when we will make mudpies and castles. I am excited about the sunshine when we will find the water and jump right in. I hope if there are three words that you choose to live your life by, they are "jump right in."

 

Miss Ava, I am excited about your life. I am so blessed to have you and I am so thankful that you are mine.