Small Towns
Until I had a family, I never realized how lucky I was to grow up in one place; to be rooted, within a town, at one elementary school and then one high school, within my cup-de-sac, and I suppose most importantly, firmly rooted, supported and loved within my family.
In the last couple of months, I have been so lucky to have my daughter take music classes from a woman with a degree and a masters in musicology, a woman who happens to be my best friend. A woman who I was lucky enough to meet in the 8th grade and who I have not let go of since. This would likely not have happened had I been moved around as a child, and not rooted in one community; in one community that I loved growing up in, but also that I love to come back to as an adult.
A few weeks ago I found out that my former best friend, with whom I was inseparable from the minute she walked into my class after arriving from Drumhellar to the minute she left for Calgary 3 short years later, was ENGAGED! Crystal and I were the bestest of friends from 3rd grade to 6th grade, and we stayed friends until I graduated from high school, dipped my toes in the college experience for one year, and then needed out. Crystal was my safe haven, my sure bet, away from an ex-boyfriend that I wasn't convinced I wanted to be an ex, and from my early high school crush that was everything I wanted, but everything that was wrong for me at the time. The neat thing about growing up in a small, prison town where people come and go, is that you get to connect with people from all over, some of whom you hope will stick around, but even if they leave, give you an excuse to get out of your small town and try out a new place and a new experience. This summer I will get to watch my best friend from 21 years ago, marry her new best friend, the best friend that she will get to spend her life with. How special is that?
Last week Ava was invited to the birthday party of a sweet 3 year old boy named Carter. Sweet Carter happens to be the son of my first friend in Agassiz, who I believe I met when I was 4 years old. I am now 32 years old, and have lived in so many cities that I can't even remember how many, and Mike has moved around since high school probably at least as much as I have, if not more. The neat thing about small towns is that you hang on to the ones that you know are good, and your parents just pray that you can keep your grasp on the good ones so that you don't get swept away by the not so pretty things that small towns can bring. And the good thing about small towns is that you can go away and make new friends, and have new experiences, and just know that that small town and those good people in it are going to be there when you come back.
Last week, a man who was two years younger than me, and went through school with me, lost his life, to a symptom that is all-to-common in small towns like mine. I am quite sure that I would require more fingers if I tried to count on two hands the number of people that had lost their lives to drugs, to suicide, or to violence, in my small town. It is heart-breaking, and although it is not always surprising, that does not make the tragedy any less devastating or any less senseless.
The first time I heard this Offspring song, I thought of Agassiz. I know that Agassiz is SO much more than this, but it is also just like this. Although I understand where the official video was going, it disturbs me, so I am posting just the song with lyrics here.
I love my small town, I do. And some days I even find myself fantasizing about what it would be like to live there again, in that beautiful, dysfunctional, perfect little town. I was so lucky to have had my roots in that town, and so lucky that I was encouraged to join EVERYTHING and to try EVERYTHING, because I am sure that (among other things) is what kept me away from those tragic symptoms that can be a characteristic of small towns. I am so lucky that I WANTED to join everything, and to make friends, and to get out of the house just enough so that my parents didn't worry I was too much of a homebody, but not enough that I wanted to be roaming the streets without a purpose.
Since moving back to Chilliwack five months ago, I have been reminded, in such a beautiful way, of how great it is out here. I get to take my daughter to places like Bridal Falls, Cultus Lake, Harrison Hot Springs, Greenpoint, and Hicks Lake; places where I have the most perfect memories of as a child. Had my parents not made the decision to not only move to this tiny, unheard of town, but to raise us here, for our entire childhoods, I would not have the amazing family memories that I do and I would not have been able to make and maintain the friendships that I have.
Thank you Mom and Dad!
In the last couple of months, I have been so lucky to have my daughter take music classes from a woman with a degree and a masters in musicology, a woman who happens to be my best friend. A woman who I was lucky enough to meet in the 8th grade and who I have not let go of since. This would likely not have happened had I been moved around as a child, and not rooted in one community; in one community that I loved growing up in, but also that I love to come back to as an adult.
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| Chilliwack |
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| Kilby Park |
Last week Ava was invited to the birthday party of a sweet 3 year old boy named Carter. Sweet Carter happens to be the son of my first friend in Agassiz, who I believe I met when I was 4 years old. I am now 32 years old, and have lived in so many cities that I can't even remember how many, and Mike has moved around since high school probably at least as much as I have, if not more. The neat thing about small towns is that you hang on to the ones that you know are good, and your parents just pray that you can keep your grasp on the good ones so that you don't get swept away by the not so pretty things that small towns can bring. And the good thing about small towns is that you can go away and make new friends, and have new experiences, and just know that that small town and those good people in it are going to be there when you come back.
Last week, a man who was two years younger than me, and went through school with me, lost his life, to a symptom that is all-to-common in small towns like mine. I am quite sure that I would require more fingers if I tried to count on two hands the number of people that had lost their lives to drugs, to suicide, or to violence, in my small town. It is heart-breaking, and although it is not always surprising, that does not make the tragedy any less devastating or any less senseless.
The first time I heard this Offspring song, I thought of Agassiz. I know that Agassiz is SO much more than this, but it is also just like this. Although I understand where the official video was going, it disturbs me, so I am posting just the song with lyrics here.
I love my small town, I do. And some days I even find myself fantasizing about what it would be like to live there again, in that beautiful, dysfunctional, perfect little town. I was so lucky to have had my roots in that town, and so lucky that I was encouraged to join EVERYTHING and to try EVERYTHING, because I am sure that (among other things) is what kept me away from those tragic symptoms that can be a characteristic of small towns. I am so lucky that I WANTED to join everything, and to make friends, and to get out of the house just enough so that my parents didn't worry I was too much of a homebody, but not enough that I wanted to be roaming the streets without a purpose.
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| Fraser River |
Since moving back to Chilliwack five months ago, I have been reminded, in such a beautiful way, of how great it is out here. I get to take my daughter to places like Bridal Falls, Cultus Lake, Harrison Hot Springs, Greenpoint, and Hicks Lake; places where I have the most perfect memories of as a child. Had my parents not made the decision to not only move to this tiny, unheard of town, but to raise us here, for our entire childhoods, I would not have the amazing family memories that I do and I would not have been able to make and maintain the friendships that I have.
Thank you Mom and Dad!
Like choosing a career, choosing the small town where you grew up can only become a choice if you have had other experiences. You CERTAINLY have had other experiences. Home is many things to many people and I'm glad that you've appreciated all that home was for so many years. Home now will be wherever you and Brady and Ava make it. Lovely writing, Kelly!
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