Who they are, not who they aren't
My sweet darlings are just that, and more. They are sweet, they are sensitive, they are kind (usually), they are hilarious, observant, adventurous, and maybe, just maybe they are sometimes wild.
I don't shy away away from taking my kids places because there are 3 of them and one of me (when my husband is at work), because what fun would that be, having to always wait for Daddy to be home to do fun things away from our house?
I am not sure if it is that the weather is nicer and we are out more, but it has overwhelmed me over the last month the number of times people have commented on how many kids I have. Is 3 a lot? Apparently. People say things without thinking, everyone does it, and it doesn't usually bother me, but something has shifted. I don't know if I am just now starting to notice how often people say it, or if they are actually saying it more.
Over Spring Break my husband didn't have much holiday time, so we did a lot of adventuring without him, including a trip into Vancouver where we navigated Steveston, Granville Island, Deer Lake Park, and Maplewood Farm on our own, and Lynn Canyon with my sister and her boys. It was AMAZING. The kids were WONDERFUL, they had SO much fun, and we made sweet, sweet memories. One of my memories will be how many times people commented on how "full" my hands were. Someone even said, "Wow, 3 kids, isn't that too many?" I should have said "yes, it is too many, but what do I do now?"
Why does it seem appropriate to weigh in on the number of kids a couple decides to have? Why does a stranger feel like their opinion or comments matter? Obviously they do matter, but why should they?
My big kids are an interesting mix of being risk takers and being very cautious. They do things that make me cringe, but moments later they will cling to my leg or reach for my hand to walk down a slight hill. I try my very best to let them take reasonable risks (is that an oxymoron?), and sometimes they get hurt, but they always learn. The stuff that makes me really nervous I leave to my husband, and all of them like it that way. They like that Daddy is the go-to for walking across creeks on sketchy looking logs, or for climbing trees a little higher than I would let them go, or for jumping from things when the landing just doesn't seem soft enough.
We never push them farther than they are comfortable with (unless we are talking bike riding or swimming, cause we don't negotiate on learning those things) and we don't help them do things they aren't ready to do, and so far it has worked out for us.
My sweet babies have SO many strengths, SO, SO many.
Our Ava is a teacher (and in teacher-speak, that means she likes to instruct others). She is one of the most creative little people I have ever met, she is an artist, she is a story-teller, she LOVES so, so well, she is a dancer, a music-lover, and she is determined. In her own words, "I will try anything," and that might be what I love best about her. She won't like everything, and she dislikes some things just as passionately as she likes others, but she will try it all. Our darling has a love for life and she shows it with a never-fading smile on her face and bounce in her step. She is the best and most patient big sister and her brother and sister know the meaning of "fun" because of her.
Recently we've come to notice more and more how many times she needs to be asked to do things before she gets to it, but it's not that she doesn't care, it's that when she's interested in something or focused on something, she may respond to you, but she really hasn't heard what you've said. So we are learning that eye contact is HUGE with her, and from there, we move forward.
Our little boy is the sweetest little human I have met in my life. He wants you to be happy, and although he's only 3, he knows that it takes. He SHOWERS his family with compliments, whether it be that he liked the way his sister read a story, the earrings Mommy is wearing, the shoes Layla has on, or how good Mumford is being by laying on his bed when we are eating. He LOVES a good snuggle, and when he asks you "will you play with me," he doesn't care what you play or what you do, he just really needs you to be close to him and focused on him. He loves trucks, riding his bike, his friend Oliver at daycare, and playing in the sandbox.
Our sweet boy is easygoing, patient, and polite, until he's had enough, and then he isn't. And then his favourite word is "no" and his favourite position is in a lump on floor. He has an ability to put his body into nearly un-movable positions when he is angry, but with a little love, this boy will do anything for you.
Our darling Layla, you are growing too quickly!!! You are the mellowest, happiest, easygoing little baby. You love to wave at people, you have a sweet shy smile and bury your face into Mommy and Daddy when you are being cute or shy with others. You like to sit on the couch and bash yourself back and forth into the cushions, just like your brother used to do. You are a mini master yogi, and can touch your head to the floor when seated and have no problem getting those toes into your mouth if you find yourself without a toy. You are beginning to scoot around, on your bum, and to push yourself backwards if you lay on your belly. For a 10 month old, you have a huge personality and great little sense of humour. You don't mind when Mumford licks your face, and love to bury your hand in Sawyers fur. You love this life.
My darlings, some people seem to think that there are too many of you for one family, but they don't know your love. If they did, they couldn't live without you either. They don't see how Layla leans her head back when she's under the trees and doesn't blink until we move on, or that she can maintain a gaze with a waterfall for an indeterminate amount of time, because if they saw the way she loves this earth she's been on for just a short time, they'd know she's going to make it better; in fact, she already has.
They don't see the carnivals, the fishing holes, the butterfly houses, and the paintings that Ava creates, or the stories that she creates in her mind and puts onto paper by herself, because if they did, they would know that you are going to do amazing, unimaginable things in your life.
When people ask me if 3 kids is too many, I wonder which one I should get rid of to make it the right number. Because Riley can't go anywhere. I wonder if they saw how you hug me EVERY time I take you out of your carseat, or heard how you say the words, "HI Tootsie!" to your baby sister when she wakes up if maybe that would change their minds. I wonder if you chose the perfect flat rock for them, because they are the best for skipping on the still lake on those slooooooow, quiet mornings or if you gave them the biggest, driest walnut shell that you could find, even if you have to step your toes onto someone else's lawn just to get it because the sound it make when it crunches beneath your feet is just the sweetest, if maybe then they would think otherwise.
I wonder if when people ask me if 3 isn't too many, or when they comment on how "full my hands" are, if they think about how full my heart is. Because my heart and my life would just never be as full or as sweet without these 3 small people.
It's possible that I have overreacted to the many comments over the last while, but perhaps now that I've had a chance to reflect on just how perfect each of these little pieces of me is, maybe now I can let it go. And maybe next time someone says, "wow, you sure have your hands full," I will respond with "not as full as my heart," because that may be a little healthier than pushing the slow simmering inside of me down.
I don't shy away away from taking my kids places because there are 3 of them and one of me (when my husband is at work), because what fun would that be, having to always wait for Daddy to be home to do fun things away from our house?
I am not sure if it is that the weather is nicer and we are out more, but it has overwhelmed me over the last month the number of times people have commented on how many kids I have. Is 3 a lot? Apparently. People say things without thinking, everyone does it, and it doesn't usually bother me, but something has shifted. I don't know if I am just now starting to notice how often people say it, or if they are actually saying it more.
Over Spring Break my husband didn't have much holiday time, so we did a lot of adventuring without him, including a trip into Vancouver where we navigated Steveston, Granville Island, Deer Lake Park, and Maplewood Farm on our own, and Lynn Canyon with my sister and her boys. It was AMAZING. The kids were WONDERFUL, they had SO much fun, and we made sweet, sweet memories. One of my memories will be how many times people commented on how "full" my hands were. Someone even said, "Wow, 3 kids, isn't that too many?" I should have said "yes, it is too many, but what do I do now?"
Why does it seem appropriate to weigh in on the number of kids a couple decides to have? Why does a stranger feel like their opinion or comments matter? Obviously they do matter, but why should they?
My big kids are an interesting mix of being risk takers and being very cautious. They do things that make me cringe, but moments later they will cling to my leg or reach for my hand to walk down a slight hill. I try my very best to let them take reasonable risks (is that an oxymoron?), and sometimes they get hurt, but they always learn. The stuff that makes me really nervous I leave to my husband, and all of them like it that way. They like that Daddy is the go-to for walking across creeks on sketchy looking logs, or for climbing trees a little higher than I would let them go, or for jumping from things when the landing just doesn't seem soft enough.
We never push them farther than they are comfortable with (unless we are talking bike riding or swimming, cause we don't negotiate on learning those things) and we don't help them do things they aren't ready to do, and so far it has worked out for us.
My sweet babies have SO many strengths, SO, SO many.
Our Ava is a teacher (and in teacher-speak, that means she likes to instruct others). She is one of the most creative little people I have ever met, she is an artist, she is a story-teller, she LOVES so, so well, she is a dancer, a music-lover, and she is determined. In her own words, "I will try anything," and that might be what I love best about her. She won't like everything, and she dislikes some things just as passionately as she likes others, but she will try it all. Our darling has a love for life and she shows it with a never-fading smile on her face and bounce in her step. She is the best and most patient big sister and her brother and sister know the meaning of "fun" because of her.
Recently we've come to notice more and more how many times she needs to be asked to do things before she gets to it, but it's not that she doesn't care, it's that when she's interested in something or focused on something, she may respond to you, but she really hasn't heard what you've said. So we are learning that eye contact is HUGE with her, and from there, we move forward.
Our little boy is the sweetest little human I have met in my life. He wants you to be happy, and although he's only 3, he knows that it takes. He SHOWERS his family with compliments, whether it be that he liked the way his sister read a story, the earrings Mommy is wearing, the shoes Layla has on, or how good Mumford is being by laying on his bed when we are eating. He LOVES a good snuggle, and when he asks you "will you play with me," he doesn't care what you play or what you do, he just really needs you to be close to him and focused on him. He loves trucks, riding his bike, his friend Oliver at daycare, and playing in the sandbox.
Our sweet boy is easygoing, patient, and polite, until he's had enough, and then he isn't. And then his favourite word is "no" and his favourite position is in a lump on floor. He has an ability to put his body into nearly un-movable positions when he is angry, but with a little love, this boy will do anything for you.
Our darling Layla, you are growing too quickly!!! You are the mellowest, happiest, easygoing little baby. You love to wave at people, you have a sweet shy smile and bury your face into Mommy and Daddy when you are being cute or shy with others. You like to sit on the couch and bash yourself back and forth into the cushions, just like your brother used to do. You are a mini master yogi, and can touch your head to the floor when seated and have no problem getting those toes into your mouth if you find yourself without a toy. You are beginning to scoot around, on your bum, and to push yourself backwards if you lay on your belly. For a 10 month old, you have a huge personality and great little sense of humour. You don't mind when Mumford licks your face, and love to bury your hand in Sawyers fur. You love this life.
My darlings, some people seem to think that there are too many of you for one family, but they don't know your love. If they did, they couldn't live without you either. They don't see how Layla leans her head back when she's under the trees and doesn't blink until we move on, or that she can maintain a gaze with a waterfall for an indeterminate amount of time, because if they saw the way she loves this earth she's been on for just a short time, they'd know she's going to make it better; in fact, she already has.
They don't see the carnivals, the fishing holes, the butterfly houses, and the paintings that Ava creates, or the stories that she creates in her mind and puts onto paper by herself, because if they did, they would know that you are going to do amazing, unimaginable things in your life.
When people ask me if 3 kids is too many, I wonder which one I should get rid of to make it the right number. Because Riley can't go anywhere. I wonder if they saw how you hug me EVERY time I take you out of your carseat, or heard how you say the words, "HI Tootsie!" to your baby sister when she wakes up if maybe that would change their minds. I wonder if you chose the perfect flat rock for them, because they are the best for skipping on the still lake on those slooooooow, quiet mornings or if you gave them the biggest, driest walnut shell that you could find, even if you have to step your toes onto someone else's lawn just to get it because the sound it make when it crunches beneath your feet is just the sweetest, if maybe then they would think otherwise.
I wonder if when people ask me if 3 isn't too many, or when they comment on how "full my hands" are, if they think about how full my heart is. Because my heart and my life would just never be as full or as sweet without these 3 small people.
It's possible that I have overreacted to the many comments over the last while, but perhaps now that I've had a chance to reflect on just how perfect each of these little pieces of me is, maybe now I can let it go. And maybe next time someone says, "wow, you sure have your hands full," I will respond with "not as full as my heart," because that may be a little healthier than pushing the slow simmering inside of me down.
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