Our Kai



I don't know how to describe our Kai, other than to say that he is the perfect mix of SO many different things.
We were so lucky this Spring break to be able to coordinate our schedules so that Christine, Kai, Brady, Carrie, Derran, Austen, Ava and I were all able to go over to the Island together, to visit Nanny and the rest of the family. We were also lucky enough that Auntie Sherri happened to be out of town and offered up her huge house so that we could all stay together. It was so nice for us to be able to get away, but also stay together.

Kai is 4 years old, and it would seem that 4 is a peak age for curiosity, about all different sorts of things. Kai had started asking his Mom about death - how a four year old comes to be curious about death, I am not quite sure, but I am certainly curious myself.  Brady and I (and I alone, before Brady was making trips with me), have made a habit of taking flowers to Papa on each trip to the Island. I think I have been doing it since I was about 19. I used to "enjoy" just borrowing Mom and Dads car and taking the trip alone, picking out the flowers alone, and talking to Papa alone. I was never quite sure how a person was supposed to go about visiting a loved one at their grave; whether I was supposed to talk aloud, or talk inside my head and Papa would hear it. After time, I just did what I felt was right, on each visit.
Last year, on the weekend of our Watson Women's Cabin getaway, I knew I was going to go visit, but not sure how to go without having the whole brood know. So Lizzie helped me to pick out flowers, and Mom, Christine, Carrie, Lizzie, and I went to show our love to Papa. (I have always hated the term "pay respect to..." because we don't go out of respect, we go out of love.) It was nice to be able to share the tears, and the ritual, with the other women in my life who love Papa.

This year was a bit different, because Kai, who is only 4, was with us. As, he had been asking his Mom about death, it seemed like an opportune time to delve into the subject, as tricky as it is to navigate- especially to a four year old. I offered the flowers to Kai, and he happily took them. He tried to dig the stems into the soil, but his mom explained that if he laid them on the soil, they would be closer to Papa. Our sweet boy was a little bit overwhelmed. How confusing it must be for a child to know that someone you love is below the ground. And it didn't seem that foreign to me, until I saw it through his eyes, and came to hate it a little bit myself.  "I don't want Great Papa to be in the ground," he said, with a quiver to his lip. It made me cry myself.  Christine explained to him that while we didn't want him to be there either, he was helping to make the flowers grow, and helping to make other things above the ground to live. I thought that was a perfect way to describe it. Although we all wish for him to be here, he certainly does make us all strive to live in a certain way. We explained to Kai that Great Papa was married to Great Nanny, who he had seen again just moments before. Auntie Carrie reminded Kai that Papa was all about family, and Papa would be so proud that his family was sharing in his remembrance.
I was so proud of my sister, for giving Kai the opportunity to understand, and to share in a ritual with the people who love him. I was proud of her for letting him ask questions, and answering him honestly, and for being sure to wrap it up when Kai had had enough.

That is our sweet, sensitive, curious Kai. The one who brings tears of proudness and love to my eyes.

Our curious Kai is also starting to be curious about other things, and as I will only share this blog with Kai's family, I have to be quite candid in his curiousity, and hilarity. Kai is becoming quite curious about the differences between boys and girls.  Kai learned about the sensitivity of boy parts after he ran into the room at Gary and Gayle's house, wound up, punched Brady in a sensitive spot, and ran out of the room, leaving Uncle Brady out of breath and red-faced, and leaving his Mom in tears of quiet laughter. Gramma was left to explain that one to Kai, and from what I hear, got the point across quite well!
As I was changing Ava's diaper, Kai got a smirk on his face, and said to me, "Ava's penis is funny! It is just a line!" Yes Kai, girls and boys were made a bit differently. "When I get older I am going to have three penises! Three furry penises!" he declared to me proudly. His Mommy set him straight with, "No Kai, not three penises, but one penis and two testis." "A furry penis" he declared gleefully as he bounced out of the room!!

That is our hilarious, curious Kai.

Gary and Gayle had a houseful (a house full of Watson's!) on the night that we got there. Mom and Dad, Gary and Gayle, Harry and Nanny, Trav and Marie, and all of us showed up for dinner. Kai had not seen Harry in a long time, so naturally didn't remember him. He ran into the room, bounced up onto the couch beside Harry, and asked , "Hi, what's your name?" Harry got a smile out of it and introduced himself. I didn't realize that Kai was so outgoing with people, and I suppose assumed that he would be a little bit shy.
When Trav and Marie arrived, he didn't recognize Travis, and came into the room and said, "Who's the beard?" Not who is the man with the beard, but "who's the beard?"
As Kai was running his laps of the house a little bit later, Trav had obviously said something funny, as everyone around him was laughing, Kai came to me and said "The white man said something funny, can you find out what he said." We think that maybe it was because Travis was wearing a white shirt, but regardless...

That is our fearless, outgoing, curious Kai.

It was so nice to be able to spend time focused on Kai, as there were so many people there to keep an eye on Ava. That is one thing that I have found difficult in this first few months of being a mom - how difficult it is to spend time with Lizzie and Kai. I adore those two, and wish that I had more moments that I could spend alone with them, focused completely on them. I miss the bond. It was so special to be able to build with Kai, and to shape his hair into a mohawk, and to play car games with him.
I could not love that little boy more.

Comments

  1. MomMarch 21, 2013 at 9:45 AM

    Oh Kelly, this is just perfect! You've captured everything about 4 year old Kai. I may be a little partial but I don't think he's just like any other four year old. I think he's something special. All of the stories you have told here represent OUR Kai. He is all of the above and a whole lot of love as well. You know how much I love you all but there's just nothing like the hug of a child and he gives top-notch squeezie hugs! Thanks for sharing this, for sharing your writing, for sharing your thoughts and most of all, for sharing your love!

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  2. MomMarch 21, 2013 at 9:47 AM

    P.S. All of our grandchildren are lucky to have such caring, loving and open parents. Christine handled his questions like she's been talking about death to four year olds for her whole life. You all did! You're amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  3. ChristineMarch 21, 2013 at 8:02 PM

    It never fails to touch me how much you, Brady, and our whole family love Kai. He is (and we are) so lucky to be surrounded by such love and appreciation. Thanks for writing this all down and for loving him so much. Maybe that is why he wanted to ride in your car all weekend!

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