Moments that Matter



There are moments in this life when I feel overwhelmed, or not as capable as I thought I was, or simply not as strong and together as I would like to be. And then there are the moments that matter to me at the end of the day.

The moment yesterday, when I sat on the bench feeding my sweet boy, at the "monkey bar park," and I watched my daughter enjoy a moment of pure bliss while her Daddy pushed her on the swings. That sweet girl is just that, sweet. She is so full of life and energy, and a bit of craziness, and I love her in all her moments, but that moment was something else. I could not take my eyes off of her, as she went back and forth, back and forth. She would swing away, and my smile would grow bigger each time as I would wait for her to swing back towards me so I could see her face.

She probably won't remember that moment as she gets older, but to me, it's a moment I will never forget. Her three year old face, on that sunny summer-like day, as her Daddy pushed her on the swings and her Mommy and brother watched close by. Her smile grew bigger with each push, that I wasn't even sure how it was fitting on her face by the end. The love that girl has for her Daddy, and for everything FUN is simply contagious.

I don't remember the last time that I had a moment like that, where I just sat, and was IN the moment and felt nothing but peace. It is sad for me that I can't remember, but that sadness is fleeting.

The important thing about me not remembering the last time is that I was hanging on so tightly to that moment, as I thought about it this morning, but then the day began, and it was not the easiest day with our boy, or our girl for that matter. It was not difficult, but our sweet boy is in the middle of what I can only assume is both a growth spurt and a big mental leap. He simply could not bring himself to sleep, all day. His body could not settle, his mind could not settle, and his tummy simply could not resist the urge to eat. All. Day. Long. He was not particularly grumpy, but we were all just exhausted by the end of the day.
Our sweet girl's head hit the pillow just after 7, and I can only assume she was asleep mere seconds later. Our sweet boy could not slow down as quickly. At about 8:30, we gave him a bottle with the hopes that his tummy would be so full that he would just have to sleep. He finished his bottle and lay curled up on Daddy's chest for about 5 minutes, with his eyes wide open, and his blinks getting heavier and heavier, when he took the sweetest deep sigh that, on the exhale, gently forced his eyes closed. Asleep at last.
It was a perfect end to his day. His mind had raced all day, as had his arms and legs, and finally his body just could not resist - deep sigh, aaaaaand asleep. It was perfect. Two perfect moments in two days. Which leaves me to wonder if they have just been exceptional moments, or if I am simply in a frame of mind right now that lets me realize these moments that more than likely exist on a near daily basis. In fact, I know they do, but I simply have forgotten to grasp these moments as they happen.
Whatever it is - it wins. Like my boy, I surrender - these two loves are perfection. And they are mine. What a life.

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